My Story: Part I
Sep 1
Aysha’s love of horses came from a deep rooted seed planted by her southern raised grandmother, telling stories of her ranch life in South Carolina and how her daughter, Missy, Aysha’s Mother, rode horses. Aysha never got to meet her Mother, not in the conventional way at least as she had passed when Aysha was only 16 months old. Aysha was blessed to have a second chance at a Mom though, one who raised her from the age of 2 on. Aysha has a desire and passion to create and dream, along with a drive that burns bright with impulsion. She wants to be remembered, to leave a mark in this world and inspire people to pursue all that their heart can bare. She had to learn and understand that through darkness there is always light and eventually this became a rule that was forced to be a mantra because without searching for that light, the darkness could creep in so easily. Horses were the driving force of that light, perhaps as a way to feel close to her biological mother or to re-remember the warmth of her grandmother. There was no way around the joy and purity horses bring her.
My Horse Journey began when I was 13 years old. I had always been interested in horses and finally wanted to learn how to ride, so I invited my best friend, at the time, to come and take a lesson with me at a small Hunter/Jumper barn in Chatsworth, CA. I instantly fell in love and began taking lessons regularly, being only 13 I had to rely on my Mother for transportation and my Father for the financial back up, which was something they were not too thrilled about. My Father always worried about the safety aspect and my Mother really didn’t enjoy driving me which would sometimes end with me getting in trouble and yelled at for having to be driven from school to the barn to take my lessons, which in turn my trainer would get upset for my being late.
As time progressed, I began cantering and jumping and before I knew it, my best friend, who started riding at the same time as me, got her very first horse, whom her parents decided to buy for her. Feeling envious, of course, I begged my Father to buy me a horse of my very own which he refused. Coming from a very wealthy family, one who was significantly more wealthy than my best friends parents, I was extremely saddened by this and couldn’t understand why I was turned down of this amazing opportunity to grow as a rider and compete when I came from a very blessed financial background. My best friend, at the time, ended up competing and jumping more often and surpassing my talent and ability due to her owning a horse. Myself, feeling guilty about my Mother having to drive me and her being frustrated at me, every time she had to take me to the barn, eventually broke down my confidence and I began falling off constantly. One day, I had a really bad fall and fell directly onto a jump and that day I decided to quit. It was a burden on my parents, my confidence was shot and I felt selfish for trying to pursue a passion that my family refused to support, so I stopped riding and that was that.
As a naturally passionate person, I began seeking out other passions that wouldn’t consist of me relying on anyone and that was when I found Photography. All I needed was a camera phone and I could photograph whatever I wanted without the need of anyone else to help support it. Eventually this passion grew and I attended college in Manhattan, New York at the age of 18 majoring in Photography. My Father financially backed my Photography journey and I am full of gratitude for that. After 5 years in New York, I moved back to my hometown in Los Angeles and continued my Photography career. I took riding lessons here and there and then eventually took regular lessons at the Paddock Riding Club in Los Feliz. It was when one of my trainers, Aleesha Bees, invited me up to Santa Ynez to her other job working for a trainer, Angi Murray Dawson, who gentled mustangs, that everything changed. At the time, I was still very much wanting a horse of my own, as the dream of owning one never disappeared, even after I quit riding. My trainer mentioned that if I worked in Santa Ynez, her boss, might give me a horse of my own so of course, I was very intrigued. After a day in Santa Ynez experiencing the act of gentling mustangs I fell in love. I knew this is what I wanted to do and I eventually left my Photography career to seek out becoming a Horse Trainer. I drove up to Santa Ynez 3x a week from Los Angeles, staying at my Father’s home, who lives in Santa Barbara to go and work the horses. For what seemed like the first time in my life, I truly felt happy.
From the age of 16, I struggled with severe anxiety and depression and was heavily medicated from the age of 18 with antidepressants. I couldn’t get out of bed or even lift an arm if I wasn’t medicated. It wasn’t until I began working with Horses that I was finally able to get off my medication, which in a million years, I never thought would happen. Not only was I able to get off being medicated, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my entire life. I knew after this, I was meant to be a horseman because horses gave me something Photography never could… A cure for depression.
I began searching for ways to work for horses, and was a Groom for several years for different trainers. I was able to compete on lessons horses once or twice at some Hunter/Jumper shows and took regular lessons trying to find way my into Jumpers which can be a bit difficult when riding lesson horses. Eventually, one of the trainers I worked for allowed me to do a feed lease with a mustang she had and I happily accepted. The mustang had 30 rides on it and was extremely green. Within 1 year of leasing this horse, I fell off probably 10-15 times, injured my tailbone and tore a ligament in my wrist. I knew this Horse was much too much horse for me, so I eventually ended the lease. I continued to work with horses and ignored my wrist injury for months until I couldn’t use my hand any longer. My dominant hand, was of no use to me and I eventually had to go to the Doctor. They sent me to physical therapy and because I could no longer use my hand, this meant I could no longer work with Horses so I made a deal with my Father. An amazing Horse came up for lease and my Father said he would pay for half of it if I would work for his company. Since I couldn’t work with horses for the time being anyway, due to my hand injury, I decided to start working at his company and got to lease a lovely schoolmaster at Spirit Equestrian. I learned a lot from the horse but the horse was an expensive one and both my Father and I were overwhelmed with the cost of this horse. Eventually, my Father couldn’t pay for it any longer and I had to end the lease.
At the age of 29, I continued to yearn for a horse of my own, and kept trying to figure out ways to buy one. During the pandemic I begged a fellow horse person, who was a family friend, to help me find a way to buy a horse. She offered to put in 3k for a horse and my boyfriend offered to put in $5k, with the majority of my savings, that was enough for all of us to contribute to buy a horse. I ended up buying a 5 year old Appendix, since I had never bought a horse I didn’t know anything about Pre Purchase Exams or the importance of them and was solely trusting the advice of others. I bought the horse and within the 2nd day he showed lameness on hard ground. Eventually this horse refused to go forward and started balking, I got the vet out and it turned out he had a 3/5 bilateral lameness on both fore limbs which pointed to navicular. A 5 year old with such a lameness was a hard pill to swallow. He got Osphos, Isoxsuprine and 2 months of rest and I changed his discipline from Jumpers to Dressage and moved him to a barn with better footing. His soundness improved but he continued to balk and I could barely get him to take one step forward from the moment I got on him. Unfortunately, I wasn’t skilled enough at the time to deal with this horses quirks and eventually, the trainer I bought him from, graciously allowed me to bring him back to her facility. She had mentioned someone was interested in buying him, I agreed and sold him to an owner who was more skilled and a better fit.
After that, it was time to go horse shopping again. I took the money I made from selling the first horse and decided to do it by the book this time. I made sure to involve a trainer, do an extensive PPE and find a horse I could truly invest in. I had my eyes set on a Bronze Medal and I wanted a horse that could take me there, though, with a limited budget that is a big feat all on its own. The PPE was done and the horse passed with flying colors. After some price negotiation, I got a lower rate and decided to buy her. 3 months later, she strained her suspensory ligament and was on rest for 3 months. IRAP, shockwave and hand walks. I got her back into work again and 2 months after she was in full work she tore the same suspensory ligament. I was heartbroken and decided to take her elsewhere to fully retire her as I couldn’t afford an MRI at the time and I couldn’t afford to keep rehabbing a horse that kept going lame. 6 months later after hand walking she was still lame, not on the leg that had the suspensory but the opposite leg. I decided to dip into my savings and do an MRI. The prognosis was inflamed side bone, not bad, not good. Osphos, shoeing correction, and maintenance for the rest of her life. That is where I am now, tack walking and hoping my horse gets and stays sound. In hopes of getting a Bronze Medal so I can get closer to achieving my dream of becoming a Professional Horse Trainer. The reality is that if I can’t get my horse sound, I will most likely never be able to afford to buy another one.
Knowing that my horse may never have the career I intended her to have, my goal of competing is slipping through my fingers.
To be honest, I need financial help to finance a horse I can lease to further compete at First Level through 3rd Level to achieve my Bronze Medal. I have only competed in Dressage 2 times in my entire life and only 4 times total when including Hunter/Jumper competitions. I currently work 2 jobs along with being an unpaid working student for a horse trainer, in which I can continue to learn and grow my knowledge in Dressage.
I, like the other equestrians featured on this site, am also an equestrian underdog. Working towards my goals of receiving a Bronze Medal and becoming a professional, along with assisting other equestrians in achieving their goals and dreams. I accept “financial gifts” to help continue the success of this website but to also invest into my future as a Professional Dressage Rider.
If you’re willing and able, please consider supporting me on this journey. Every dollar counts even if you can only donate $5. I appreciate your support regardless if it’s through this platform, Patreon, Paypal or watching, sharing and commenting on my Instagram. I am incredibly grateful for the ones who support me and am humbled by the people who continue to teach and assist me through this journey. A little goes a long way, and I will carry your support with me through every ride.
I will continue to share my journey and the truth behind this sport through all the ups and down and will continue to help other Underdogs grow in their own path and will support and assist them in any way possible.
Thank you for reading my story.
With Kindness, Appreciation and Love,
Aysha Banos
